Have you ever had jury duty?

I've been in a training seminar all week - focused on jury trials.

Here are some of the high quality tips I've received:

1. Don't face the jury with your arms crossed - it makes them think you're mean, or angry - and, especially if you're a female attorney - bitchy!

I thought it meant - "would you like a cookie?"

2. Jurors are not happy to be there.

No.

Shit.

3. Don't read verbatim from your notes - it's boring.

I think my 5th grade teacher taught me this one. I guess most lawyers aren't "smarter than a 5th grader"

4. Don't wear short skirts.

Like, you mean, Ally McBeal and Legally Blonde aren't real????

And, finally, my favorite tip of all -

5. Don't lie to the judge!

This was in the "prosecutorial ethics" lecture. Gee. Really? Don't. Lie. Hmmmm....I'll have to mull that over for a bit.

Yes, the Government Entity I work for has paid for me to listen to this for the last three days of my life.