I thought we would outgrow this stuff
As you may know, I work in a huge government office. There is a core group of about 50 attorneys at my level (or just above or below), and we all know each other pretty well. When I first started, I noticed that there was some gossip.
It has been two years.
Turns out there is ALOT of gossip - it just takes a while to build up the trust where people will talk about other people in front of you. Now, if you think about it, that is sort of a sick system. In order to hear the gossip from the "gossiper" you have to prove yourself to be a person that doesn't gossip - at least not to the "wrong" people.
It seems that there is one core group of "cool kids" - and, for the first time in my life, I am marginally a member of that group. This means that I am not sought out by them, but, if I happen to be in a room, and they happen to start gossiping, they wont stop because I am there.
Is this a good thing?
I see pros and cons. It is good to have some of the inside information - knowledge is power - and gossip really can give you insights into people.
However, while I may laugh at jokes and impersonations (because, frankly, we have some seriously funny people), sometimes it goes to far. Then, I feel really shitty afterwards - and wish that I hadn't observed and participated in the whole thing.
It makes me analyze myself a little, and I have realized (over and over in my life...geez, I'm sick of hearing myself whine...) that I have a desire to be included. I am just not sure how to balance that with avoiding becoming a topic of the gossip - "that Working Gal...she sure is stuffy!"
Geez.
Peace Out,
Working Gal
3 comments:
I guess it's good to have an option right? If you do the right thing when something is said, and people feel bad about it then in a small way you bring a little justice to the world. Oh yeah thats irony in your work place.
It's very understandable, how you feel, and it's a very difficult thing to do--to stand alone on principal or stand with others to avoid being alone....I truly don't envy you that position. I wonder how many others in that group feel as you do....wouldn't that be interesting to know? Hope the rest of your week is blessed.
There is a fine where a joke about someone can cross over to the not okay. At that point I usually pretend i have to be somewhere or do something.
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