Cheering myself up through posting

I haven't posted in nearly a week. I think I have just been overwhelmed by my life. My job has been shaken up a bit - and I am gearing up for what is likely to be a much longer commute starting in a couple of weeks. So, that's right - same government salary - 45 minute (each way) longer commute. Gee *sarcastic tone*, maybe my 2.1% raise this summer will lift my spirits - it might even cover the inevitable increase in my rent. For some reason, facing this longer commute is quite upsetting to my life, and I'm not sure exactly why....

Oh, to be a child again....

Which makes me think of the following story:

I realized the other day that my childhood memories are fairly faint - I remember things from time to time, but it is pretty hazy. I do remember one day with perfect clarity. I was probably in middle school (maybe younger, but my guess is about 6th grade when I started doing all my own laundry - not by choice, mind you), and I was moving clothes from the washer to the dryer.

I said something to my mom to the effect of - I can't WAIT to be an adult - then I can do whatever I want.

My mom said, "don't be in such a hurry. It's not all its cracked up to be. Being an adult can be much harder than you think." (or something similar...)

I remember thinking - "she is so wrong - it will be FAB-U-LOUS to be a adult."

This was the age when my parents went from no everything to knowing nothing - hey, I was 12 or 13 - what do you expect.

Now I find myself saying the same thing to my son, and I find myself wishing for simpler times --doing laundry, and listening to the latest NKOTB cassette. (that's New Kids On the Block - for those of you who weren't between the ages of 8 and 15 in 1988). Back then I had no idea what it was like to worry about bills, rent, career decisions, etc.

Why is it, that we can't comprehend how great we have it when we are so young? And, is it like looking back on yourself when you were just 10 pounds overweight and thinking - God, if I could have that body back, but, then you realize when did have that body you thought you were fat? Will I look back when I am 40 and think about how great I had it when I was 29? I hope not - I hope things will continue to get better.

***begin inspirational music***

Because, looking back, things are better this year than last, and last year was better than the year before. Maybe the graph of life goes like this:

Childhood -- you have it so easy, but have no idea

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Young adulthood -- you are too drunk to care

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Married with kids -- life is complicated, and you yearn for simpler times

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Getting older every year -- you start to realize how FAB-U-LOUS you are turning out, grow into yourself, and care less what people think -- getting better and better.

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Getting OLD -- I don't want to think that far ahead

I am pretty grateful for my life - even if things are sorta nuts right now. My kids are being especially cute lately (balanced out by being especially whiny), my husband is being really great about my career choices and decisions - things are good.